Posts Tagged ‘sadness’

well crap.. I was told yesterday that all my labs had come back and were normal… nope they had the last two come in today and they were abnormal. I am so thankful for this doctor though! no one else ever thought to look for any of these problems to why we miscarried. It turns out that I have an abnormal gene that is something like a clotting condition that could cause me to miscarry. there is no way to be 100% sure if that is why we miscarried in the past but at least now we know and we can prevent this being an issue now by adding in baby aspirin or some other med that I cant remember that she said…

This just makes me so angry!! after each miscarriage no one ran any labs to see is there was a problem as to why we miscarried. the only thing that was ever done was the RH negative shot and then I was tested like crazy for PCOS and every doctor that tested me for it said “the labs say no but I’m telling you one day it will say yes” well doc, the labs are still saying no 10 years later… if you would have just ran some other tests maybe I wouldn’t have lost 6 babies maybe only 1 or 2! I would probably still have my fallopian tubes! and I probably wouldn’t have had to go through the suffering of knowing I had a baby that had a heart beat or the pain of the tube rupturing on each tube. I could have maybe had a child on my own  years ago of course I will never know that for sure. then that leaves me with the other feeling of even my genes are against me being a mother?  I just want to scream from the anger and sadness from it all. I’m still grateful honestly that this one still has a chance but it’s like I’m feeling the injustice for the other babies.  and maybe that’s too harsh of a statement I don’t know I’m overwhelmed with emotions right now.

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