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Posts Tagged ‘Menotropin’

I fell into a deep dark depression. One where there was no hope and no way out. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that I have lost 9 babies… 9 precious babies.  Babies that I long to hold, to kiss, to tell them how much mommy wanted them and how much mommy loves them. to say it’s not fair is a understatement. It took me a couple of months but I threw myself into my church. I wanted answers to which I received none, but learned instead that God loves me and He loves my babies and they are with him and he will hug and kiss them until mommy is called home.  hubby and I discussed doing IVF again, hubby wanted to I didn’t. I got so mad at him, I felt like he didn’t even care that we just lost 3 babies in March,  that he doesn’t care what IVF itself does to me. I finally sat him down and told him how I felt,  I told him that it’s not right that he doesn’t even look at what I have to go through which is, a month before we start IVF I have to get off of my fibromyalgia medications and my seronegative rheumatoid arthritis medications, to which I go through withdrawal for a few weeks which is severely painful and I have no energy to even get out of bed. Being off my meds period I hurt so badly that it feels like torture. I then have to go on a extremely high dose of birth control due to my body doesn’t react the way it should, in fact it reacts like a 45-50 year woman’s body instead of a 32 year olds. the birth control makes me extremely paranoid sometimes to the point where I feel like my husband is trying to kill me. then I comes off of that and start taking the max doses of menopur and  Follistim which is painful and makes me very teary to everything.  then of course there the retrieval which is extremely painful which is made worse due to my chronic pain conditions, and then the transfer where I freak out for 2 weeks I walk on eggshells trying not to do anything that would make them not stick or have another miscarriage, not to mention I am now having to take a PIO shot in my hip which is one of my most severe triggers for my fibro. If it sticks and we are pregnant then I get to add a blood thinner shot in my stomach to help prevent me miscarrying,  which is the third most painful shot I have ever had, I have to take both shots until I am 3 months….

he says he understands but he feels like we don’t have time to put IVF off because my body acts way older then it should. I understand that but I just want to see him actually care about what I have to go through.

anyway, we are starting up IVF in August, so when I receive my period in august I stop all meds and start the high dose birth control.  I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.

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They called me and told us that my estradiol went from a 288 on sat. to 736 today!! I now have 7 follicles that are over 20mm one of them being 34mm!! So at 7:45pm tonight hubby gave me the trigger shot which by the way wow… didn’t hurt stung for like maybe a second then itched for like maybe a minute, then nothing. we shall see how I act in the morning LOL. We are so super excited!!!! Our retrieval is set for 7:45am in the Frisco office which is where we are use to going so happy about that! Was surprised to hear they are putting me under though I thought they only did the loopy cocktail oh well. We have to arrive at the Frisco office at 6:45am so we are going to head up to Frisco tomorrow afternoon cause I really do not want to 2:30am to drive 2:30 hours to be there in time. So hotel room is all set and waiting for us tomm. Have I mentioned we are super excited!!!

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We received in the results which more then double for the first time since we have started our ivf journey God Is so good. We appreciate all the love and support and prayers. we are a go for the retrieval at 6:45am at the Fertility center of Texas in Frisco TX.  We will be in Frisco tomm afternoon since I do not want to wake up at 1am to leave lol

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So results are 3 huge follicles on each ovary with multi follicles that could also be good. My estradiol is 287, so I am on 3 vials of menopur every morning 300 units of Follistim every night along with the Ganirelix shot every evening until Monday. Doc says he wants my estradiol to get as high as it can before he does retrieval. He doesn’t sound as though he has that much hope of there being any eggs but he still wants to give it a go. He told me today there’s nothing else he or I can do since I am already on the highest dose he will do. He says for what ever reason that he can not figure out my ovaries are acting like they are much much older then I am, I’m only 31 years old… I’m glad he is willing to still do the retrieval though he told me if it was anyone that didn’t have my history he would have canceled this cycle. I feel as though if this cycle does not work that he will be telling me to look into other options like donor egg, which was brought up for a second in this appt. So what we know for now is meds till Monday morning do blood test that day then trigger that night and retrieval wed, unless he decides at the last second to cancel, but from the way he told us today I don’t think he will.

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I was told and even signed a paper when I first came to this ivf clinic to NOT bring babies or kids due to the nature of this clinic and I agree with that so why is it there are 2 babies here this morning!?! I’m already hormonal as it is this just hurts!

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So far mood is pretty good especially after the wonderful news yesterday. I even haven’t cried at any more cute cat pictures 😉 so I am having a lot of achy pains in my stomach with bloating. I am so tired every day which could be meds or the fibromyalgia. The injections seem to have done something to help improve some of the other fibro pain. Headache is now just barely there. a huge general uncomfy feeling and any time I move my stomach goes ouch! I am loving it though lol I am so praying we can get to the retrieval this cycle.

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We got such wonderful news for Operation: Get In My Belly!!!! Everything is right on track and right where it needs to be!!! PTL!! This is now officially the furthest we have achieved with a IVF cycle. Tomorrow night I get to start a brand new injection to go along side the other 2 injections I already take and then head out to Frisco for blood test and ultrasound and maybe even hear how close we are to the retrieval! We are so excited and could not be any more thrilled!!

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