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Posts Tagged ‘hormone injections’

I fell into a deep dark depression. One where there was no hope and no way out. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that I have lost 9 babies… 9 precious babies.  Babies that I long to hold, to kiss, to tell them how much mommy wanted them and how much mommy loves them. to say it’s not fair is a understatement. It took me a couple of months but I threw myself into my church. I wanted answers to which I received none, but learned instead that God loves me and He loves my babies and they are with him and he will hug and kiss them until mommy is called home.  hubby and I discussed doing IVF again, hubby wanted to I didn’t. I got so mad at him, I felt like he didn’t even care that we just lost 3 babies in March,  that he doesn’t care what IVF itself does to me. I finally sat him down and told him how I felt,  I told him that it’s not right that he doesn’t even look at what I have to go through which is, a month before we start IVF I have to get off of my fibromyalgia medications and my seronegative rheumatoid arthritis medications, to which I go through withdrawal for a few weeks which is severely painful and I have no energy to even get out of bed. Being off my meds period I hurt so badly that it feels like torture. I then have to go on a extremely high dose of birth control due to my body doesn’t react the way it should, in fact it reacts like a 45-50 year woman’s body instead of a 32 year olds. the birth control makes me extremely paranoid sometimes to the point where I feel like my husband is trying to kill me. then I comes off of that and start taking the max doses of menopur and  Follistim which is painful and makes me very teary to everything.  then of course there the retrieval which is extremely painful which is made worse due to my chronic pain conditions, and then the transfer where I freak out for 2 weeks I walk on eggshells trying not to do anything that would make them not stick or have another miscarriage, not to mention I am now having to take a PIO shot in my hip which is one of my most severe triggers for my fibro. If it sticks and we are pregnant then I get to add a blood thinner shot in my stomach to help prevent me miscarrying,  which is the third most painful shot I have ever had, I have to take both shots until I am 3 months….

he says he understands but he feels like we don’t have time to put IVF off because my body acts way older then it should. I understand that but I just want to see him actually care about what I have to go through.

anyway, we are starting up IVF in August, so when I receive my period in august I stop all meds and start the high dose birth control.  I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.

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ok today’s ultrasound… we were able to see the heartbeat and hear the heartbeat but the heart rate was a bit slower then it should of been. the baby last week measured 5 weeks and 4 days today it measured 6 weeks 1 day meaning it only showed 4 days of growth when it should of been 7 days of growth though doc said the baby was hugging the wall real close so we were not able to get a good picture so she was not able to measure it completely which means it could of been 7 days growth if not close to. my doc say to be cautiously optimistic but so far it is telling the baby isn’t growing as much as it needs to. We head back Wed next week for another ultrasound to see how much baby has grown yet again. We ask for prayers please for baby to be growing big and strong. The doctors don’t sound like they have much hope….
My church had a healing service tonight which our worship leader pastor Jeff had heard about our story Tues night said he prayed all day Wed and said he really felt God say that hubby and I really needed to be at the altar to be healed! It was so wonderful and I can tell you that I am healed!!! Rutherford OB2 Rutherford OB3

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ok so we get called back and my heart starts beating a mile a minute. recap… they transferred 2 class 1 embryos and 1 class 2 embryo.  one of the embryos didn’t attach at all. I miscarried the 2nd baby… the third baby though is still hanging in there and doctor says baby looks right where it should be at around 6 weeks pregnant. there was no heart beat yet but he said not to worry though that’s it could be a little behind. I go back in a week to make sure that this is a viable pregnancy. He’s looking for considerable growth and next week we should be able to see the heart beating. morning sickness is starting to get a bit stronger…. i’m so conflicted with emotions, i’m so happy about the 3rd baby, but so sad about the other 2 babies. Hope everyone has a wonderful night. 6 week ultrasound

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was only 1023.. so now I have to go back to fertility clinic on Thursday for a ultrasound sound to find out what is wrong. She said could be that only one egg attached and could still be a healthy normal pregnancy or we could be losing all of them… I’m not having any sharp pain or any bleeding….  I asked if the number would be normal for a single baby but she said there’s no way to know for sure. but kept telling me it could be just one attached or that we lost one or two but the third is still ok… I am so upset and can’t believe I have to wait till Thursday to find out. I am praying that if anything that’s it’s just one baby and that that one baby is normal.

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it has been one whole week since we have been able to get any type of news on how well our baby(ies) are progressing. I believe everything to be good still though, I have not had any more spotting at all and no pain other then the achiness, pinching and pressure to which my fertility clinic says all is normal.  Also I have become so very tired lately that I started laying down during the day and at about 8pm I get super tired and just want to go to bed…. but I can’t go to bed until I do the PIO shot at 10:30 😦 so not fair. my nausea has gotten steadily worse this past week to which today during the middle of church of all times I had to run to barely make it in time to the toilet.  Breasts are still sore and my bras are starting to get tight… due to my fibromyalgia, I was hoping it would not kick in until 4-6 months pregnant but it has started already. My lower back is spasming and any time I get out of a chair, bed, couch… I get a intense burning sensation followed by a lighting sensation that shoots up my spine and down my legs. My hips are also killing me and are sitting at a level 7 pain all the time now, and my fibro skin is back, meaning my skin is extremely sensitive to the touch to a painful level.  I hope everyone is having a wonderful night.

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So the pain has died down a whole lot to just a very mild mild pain when my bladder is full, which by the way I have to go more often already?? never had to get up in the middle of the night to go pee and now I’m up twice a night just to pee. Is that the PIO cause it seems waaayyyy to early for prego symptoms. I also have very very moody or hurt feelings very easy lately. I also have pretty tender sore breasts but I know that the last two I listed is from the PIO. The infertility monster is starting to rear its head today…. every time I pee I’m looking for blood. but I have no symptoms of this ivf not taking or a miscarriage. though this is my first time getting this far with ivf so I don’t know if it is the same. I feel pretty good my tummy is nice and bloated and like I said the pain has really died down. I’m feeling pretty good that this cycle will work for us. the PIO shots were not that bad till today… day 5 on those shots but now both hips are getting bruised so starting to hurt a lot more. Hope everyone is doing great and Come on Feb 13th hurry up and get here so I can find out the results!!!!

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They called me and told us that my estradiol went from a 288 on sat. to 736 today!! I now have 7 follicles that are over 20mm one of them being 34mm!! So at 7:45pm tonight hubby gave me the trigger shot which by the way wow… didn’t hurt stung for like maybe a second then itched for like maybe a minute, then nothing. we shall see how I act in the morning LOL. We are so super excited!!!! Our retrieval is set for 7:45am in the Frisco office which is where we are use to going so happy about that! Was surprised to hear they are putting me under though I thought they only did the loopy cocktail oh well. We have to arrive at the Frisco office at 6:45am so we are going to head up to Frisco tomorrow afternoon cause I really do not want to 2:30am to drive 2:30 hours to be there in time. So hotel room is all set and waiting for us tomm. Have I mentioned we are super excited!!!

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