Posts Tagged ‘D&C’

I just want to wake up and get dress and head out to Frisco for my ultrasound to see my baby heartbeat…. Everything just feels like I’m stuck in a nightmare. We have received so much love and support from our church which has really helped. Our friends from church were really helpful with bringing by dinners and just being there for us. I have a couple who live next-door that I have no clue what to do with them. The lady is friends with me, She called 3 times on Wed the 13th, It’s the day we found out we would lose baby, I finally answered her and told her bluntly cause I was having a extremely hard time keeping anything together that day, that we lost baby and I couldn’t talk she said come over here I said no I can’t talk I’m going back to be with my husband. The 14th she called 3 times I let it go to voice mail all 3 times, the first one was “I couldn’t sleep last night and I’m having a hard time right now. I really need my friend to come over and we don’t have to talk we can just watch movies but I really need you to come over” the second phone call about the say thing and the third stated she would “leave me be for a few days then get back on my ass to come over and watch movies” She didn’t by the way she called everyday with yesterdays telling me how she is so depressed and really needs her friend, and as a after thought stated yeah I guess your kind of depressed too…. This is a woman who when she lost a friend in Dec who she knew for a few years on and off stayed shit face drunk for 2 months straight from morning to night. I tried to get her to leave her house go get some lunch sober up some… she refused for 2 months…. I lost 3 babies why the fuck would I want to head over to my neighbors house where I don’t feel comfy to grieve the loss of my 3 babies. not to mention, in case some people don’t really know this, Miscarriage i’m sure everyone can understand the emotional pain that follows but there in the beginning of a miscarriage is it extremely painful physically! No joke.  My doctors were in the middle of deciding if  they would do a D and C  or not when too late… My body took 5 days to start bleeding from the 13th when we learned that we would lose baby. I deluded myself into thinking the doctor was wrong and that I wasn’t losing baby because I wasn’t bleeding and I wasn’t hurting. I was at dinner with a bunch of church friends when the pain hit.  It feels like to me like someone took a huge knife and stabbed me in my lower stomach then withdrew and reinserted then twisted the blade around and kept repeating.  We came back home I started bleeding and the pain grew much more intense to where my husband was crying and yelling at me over me screaming from the pain that maybe we should just go to the ER. Why? There’s nothing they would do for me besides give me a fast acting pain killer. so he took one of the pain killers my fertility doctor gave me a hydrocodone 5.5 and crushed it up in small tiny pieces so it would kick it faster and made me swallow it with water and that was nasty tasting … jumped into shower to sit under hot hot water to see if that would help, nope, thirty minutes later i’m screaming even louder the pain pill should of kicked in by then but nothing so I took another hydrocodone 5.5 not crushed this time. 1 hour later it still wasn’t working, the pain was so intense, I had screamed my voice hoarse, and the hot water was doing nothing for me. I couldn’t chance another pain killer so I had hubby help me to bed. Needless to say I couldn’t sleep, and have maybe gotten a few hours sleep a night due to the pain and the emotions from losing baby. Monday 18th we got a hold of my regular OB and he wants to have me check my HCG level in a few days (prob Monday 25th) to see where it is at, if it’s still pretty high then will do a D and C if it’s low then wait and recheck in a few days to see if I can miscarry on my own. I tried telling them I’m in extreme pain, I’m barely bleeding and have had only tiny tiny clots which means I still have not lost baby and barely any of the lining. He said even though they were really tiny clots the process has already begun and he would rather it be natural. I wouldn’t it’s to painful physically and emotionally.  They did write me a script for hydrocodone 10.375 which they said I’m allowed to take 1-2 within a 3 hour period. I stick to the lower dose pain pill during the day or not at all, and I take 1 higher dose at night, luckily the pain has not reached the intensity of that first night again though it comes a little bit close. Hubby is going to try to call the OB at 2pm today to see if they have reached a decision yet. I pray they have and that it’s a D and C…….

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