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Well everything is a lot better now, my incision is still tender to the touch of course but I very little pain from that area anymore. Emotionally I am more stable now, still upset that I have to wait to do IVF again if at all but I’m becoming ok with that and getting excited about adoption! I have a month checkup with my kidney doctor Thursday and will set up my first appointment to have me checked to see if the cancer has come back. It’s so strange to me to think I had cancer. I feel so guilty about it because I had it for maybe a month and don’t have to have treatment. I had a grandmother and an uncle who went through the works treatment wise and lost their battle to it. while others went through the works with treatment and survived. I don’t feel like it’s right for me to cry about it or say that I am a cancer survivor… what did I survive?  a surgery, granted a very painful surgery, but does that give me the right to tell people, that I am a cancer survivor….

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hello

been a long time since I have posted anything… our last miscarriage took so much out of me so we decided to just wait. I know that could hurt us in the end but can’t change it now. We have decided to call our doctor and in Jan and have him put in a new script and we will start buying meds again. we are shooting for hopefully April or may. Hope everyone is doing well.

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So results are 3 huge follicles on each ovary with multi follicles that could also be good. My estradiol is 287, so I am on 3 vials of menopur every morning 300 units of Follistim every night along with the Ganirelix shot every evening until Monday. Doc says he wants my estradiol to get as high as it can before he does retrieval. He doesn’t sound as though he has that much hope of there being any eggs but he still wants to give it a go. He told me today there’s nothing else he or I can do since I am already on the highest dose he will do. He says for what ever reason that he can not figure out my ovaries are acting like they are much much older then I am, I’m only 31 years old… I’m glad he is willing to still do the retrieval though he told me if it was anyone that didn’t have my history he would have canceled this cycle. I feel as though if this cycle does not work that he will be telling me to look into other options like donor egg, which was brought up for a second in this appt. So what we know for now is meds till Monday morning do blood test that day then trigger that night and retrieval wed, unless he decides at the last second to cancel, but from the way he told us today I don’t think he will.

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Ivf appt

Waiting to be called back to do blood and ultrasound this time at the ivf clinic.

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I am already so weepy.. I’m not to the point where I am actually crying yet but I keep tearing up over the smallest things ever. Plus I still have a major headache and the only thing I can think of is the injections, cause that’s when it started.

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