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Archive for December, 2012

Ultrasound and blood test

So even though I did receive my AF before today, they called last night and said they still wanted us to come out and get a baseline. So we got up at 5am and hit the road to make it there by 9am, pulled me back real quick, took the blood, emptied my bladder and went to go get the ultrasound. They said my lining looked really good, then they looked at my lefty and said she looks really good then moved to my righty…. Damn you right ovary!!!! It’s so frustrating!!! My last cycle was canceled due to my body not performing…. Ok so I had a follicle that measured 34/20, no wonder I have been having so much pain on that side. She said yeah that’s pretty big but it still only hits 20 so it may still be ok IF it is not producing estrogen on it’s own. So sure when I want it to produce the hormone when I am on the injections she’s like nah… don’t feel like it.. no pills or injections she’s like I will show you.  😦 Estrogen was suppose to be under 69, mine was 118. So I now have to start up the really high dose of BCP you know the one that made me a crazy woman, well crazier… starting today. Nurse said she will call me Wed/Thurs to let me know if I can start up again on Jan 18th.  Praying I can and hope everyone out there has a safe and Happy New Year!!

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I handled Christmas Eve pretty well I think for it being a anniversary of a miscarriage. We had 16 people over and I didn’t spend one minute that night thinking sad thoughts. I  was blocking out thinking about new year’s eve yesterday until my husband brought it up saying  a friend of ours was wanting to come hangout, but he told him that he wasn’t sure that we may not be very good company that night and explained why…

New Year’s eve 2006 during the day was like any of the other day that month, I woke up to morning sickness and would eat a few crackers before I got up out of bed. I was craving pickles that week, and had my typical joint pain and back pain due to what I did not know at the time was the fibromyalgia and seronegative RA. Husband went to work and came home at 7pm and we went over to my parents house but I was not feeling good so we left and went home before midnight, I think about 11pm. Once home the uneasy feeling got worse and then I found blood. We headed up to the ER 11:45pm, they pulled me back pretty fast 11:52pm, drew blood and urine and took me back for a ultrasound, the US tech kept asking me are you sure you are not having any pain, no I never felt any pain. We had thought I was 6 weeks along due to the HPT did not say positive till 6 weeks prior. We found out I was about 8 or so weeks along and the nurse came in to tell us the baby already has a heart beat but that it will not make it due  to it is ectopic. The surgeon came down to meet me and start me on iv antibiotics then rushed me off for emergency surgery. I remember being rolled into the surgery room feeling so numb and so scared, they rolled me up to the table and I had to move myself to the surgery table. The next thing I remember was waking up feeling a lot of pain in my stomach and my husband telling me that my tube had burst and I was bleeding out but the doctor had fixed me all up and that I still had one tube (till Feb 2008 another ectopic). I remember I didn’t grieve in the hospital and I took myself off the pain meds to get me home as fast as possible. I know I never fully grieved from that loss. This was baby 5 out of 6 that we have lost.

I think I will tell hubby to go a head and invite our friends if anything it will help us to take our minds off it, though if AF does not come by that day we will have to travel to Dallas to go get a ultrasound and blood test to which I am freaking out and will probably cry during. I pray everyone has a very Happy New Years and please be safe! I should be starting my Hormone injections on New Years Day 🙂

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Last Day of BCP!!

Thank goodness today is my last BPC I hate this pill, it really screwed with my emotional state. Now we sit back and pray my body does what it is suppose to do for the next few days which is start a cycle. If it does not start then hubby and I have to drive up to Dallas to get blood test and ultrasound on new years eve. Really do not want to do that Dallas traffic is horrible and it is suppose to be raining and it’s new years eve…. Please body do what your suppose to for once…. Hope everyone is having a good day.

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Received in my 5 days worth of Ganirelix this morning! Looking forward to stopping this high dose of birth control on the 27th too! then its just cross our fingers and say a prayer that my body will start another cycle before the 31st otherwise we have to travel to Dallas on the 31st 😦 that would suck with all the crazy driving there. So no more headache and not really feeling so angry any more but it’s like the slightest little thing sets me off emotionally, whether it be happy or crying or angry.  I have also started noticing that anything about kids lately gets me so upset, like a good friend of ours went to our Christmas banquet and I didn’t know he was bringing his 2 small kids (2 1/2 and 6) I had to stay in the bedroom for 15 mins trying to pull myself together because the baby’s laughter kept me crying.  It’s not the kids fault just like I know it’s not my ether for getting upset but it makes me feel bad cause the kids don’t understand why I pull away and not get to close when all they want to do is play. maybe it is just the birth control and that I have a miscarriage anniversary  on Christmas Eve which we are having a party that night maybe it will take my mind off it, and a miscarriage anniversary on the 31st/1st which to me is the one that hurts most since this one I was a few days or so shy of 9 week and was told that it had a heartbeat (ectopic). I would hate to think that I have lost some control, I  mean it always hurts anytime I am around kids of all ages but I typically am still able to be around them and not cry. Hope everyone is doing good.

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Feeling better

Feel much better today, only feel shaky and that’s hard to pinpoint cause it could be the meds or my fibromyalgia or cause I am diabetic.. should check my sugar… any who I’m just happy that I don’t feel so angry today.  Great day so far, had a wonderful service at church today, and now I am getting ready to cook some homemade Southern Red Beans and Rice, Yummy 🙂  and afterward I need to bake my Banana Nut Bread and my Chocolate Chip Cookies and Oatmeal and Raisin and Nut Cookies for hubby’s work and a thank you for all their hard work during the holiday season, figure they would enjoy having it before the busiest week of the year. Hope everyone is having a great day and my prayers and thoughts are with the family and friends of everyone who lost their lives in the Sandy Hook Shooting.

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I swear I feel like a ticking time bomb on this high dose birth control pill! All day so far I feel like I am on the edge of pissed off 😦 I hate it. other then that I have a major headache ever since I started taking this pill. Ugh.. come on Dec 27th I want to stop taking this one all ready, I know the menopur and follistim make me teary but I would rather be teary then pissed off for no reason what so ever.

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Ok so was called early this morning with the results but had to run all day long, my Estradiol was 24.1, my LH was 3.9 and my FSH was 8 to which she said was overall perfect… I don’t know, but I am thinking she knows a lot  more about it then me.  Ever since then I feel so scared and keep crying a tiny bit here and there and just nervous that I will once again let my husband down. Hubby got upset and said I needed to quit talking like that, that we have a great chance on this working.  IVF nurse called back again to tell me I will be starting the birth control pill today not tomorrow and that I need to go pick it up and not use the ones I already have because doc is giving me a much higher dose. Nurse said I start them today 12/13 and stop taking them on 12/27  and she said since it is such a high dose I should start another period this month a day or two after I stop them. No Lupron this time around, he wants to try me on the Ganirelix and see if it works better with me. If I do not start a period by 12/31 then we have to travel out to Dallas to get a ultrasound and see if my body is on track. That day and new years is such a horrible day, I went to ER at 11:37pm 12/31/07 found out my pregnancy was ectopic and that my baby had a heart beat, rushed me up to surgery 12:25am to find out that my tube ruptured… 8-9 weeks pregnant…. blah… that is my worst one, had another miscarriage on Christmas eve too, I swear me and holidays do not mix!! Any who! I start taking 2 vials of Menopur and 300IU Follistim  also on 12/31 with my first ultrasound and blood test on 1/2. Start the Z pack on 1/7 and I assume the retrieval will be any where from 1/10- 1/14 and of course the TWW. Nurse said even if they up my meds we already have enough Follistim she said maybe one more box of 5 vials of Menopur but she doubts it. So I have to get 5 I guess vials? of the Ganirelix and we picked up both of our Z packs today. The only other med I will have to buy is only if I receive a BFP and it will be for the clotting disorder. I feel less stress this time due to actually having all the meds and money before we started up plus it helps that my father-in-law isn’t having his leg removed this time around too… These nerves of mine need to settle down and know that we can deal and be ok with whatever happens, so far not listening to me though.

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