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Archive for September, 2012

so I had my first blood test to see how my body is reacting to the hormone shots and the doctor himself called me up and told me that I have to go see him for a blood test and ultrasound because my estradiol was 70 on august 23rd and todays test it was 23… I don’t understand why even after I started taking the hormone shots!!! so he wants to do an ultrasound friday to see if it’s heading the right direction after my new dose increase. 2 vials of menopur now. the nurse called after I hung up with the doctor to make sure I had been told about the clotting disorder and what would happen med wise and when, so we asked her about the blood work up and they said we shouldn’t worry yet since it is still pretty early on in the IVF cycle and we still have time for my body to kick in I just don’t think I have the money to wait it out longer than 2 more weeks. but she sounded like it didn’t come as a surprise and yeah I can see that with my Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH) being a <0.16 that everything wasn’t going to go perfect but still ūüė¶ but I yelled and cried and screamed and cried some more and now I am feeling a lot more calm and ready to get on with this and do what needs to be done. I hope everyone else is having a good day.

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I am having another one of those cry for no reason days.¬† I’m on day 2 of the menopur and follistim and so far I am feel just the tiniest bit more emotional but I am having a ton of pain in my stomach though!¬† I’m not sure if it’s my fibromyalgia or the scar tissue from the 2 ectopic surgeries I had or from the shots? maybe even a combo of all three who knows… I hate it though I feel horrible all the time now. I keep trying to get up and clean and work out but once I’m up I’m quickly right back down.¬† my pain level in my stomach is sitting between 4-7. while sitting/lying¬†down it’s about a 4 but once I start moving quickly heads up to the 7. I’m so frustrated with it, it felt great this morning with the temp at 63 I wanted to go for a walk¬†¬†¬†¬† ūüė¶ maybe tomorrow it will still feel great out but I’ll be in less pain.¬† I hate feeling so confined to the house!

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Ok so day 1 of the menopur and follistim shots (hormone shots). The Menopur shot not that bad, short needle and it really didn’t hurt or sting, the Follistim shot on the other hand hurt pretty bad for about 15 mins… we shall see how tomm’s shots goes.

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well crap.. I was told yesterday that all my labs had come back and were normal… nope they had the last two come in today and they were abnormal. I am so thankful for this doctor though! no one else ever thought to look for any of these problems to why we miscarried. It turns out that I have an abnormal gene that is something like a clotting condition that could cause me to miscarry. there is no way to be 100% sure if that is why we miscarried in the past but at least now we know and we can prevent this being an issue now by adding in baby aspirin or some other med that I cant remember that she said…

This just makes me so angry!! after each miscarriage no one ran any labs to see is there was a problem as to why we miscarried. the only thing that was ever done was the RH negative shot and then I was tested like crazy for PCOS and every doctor that tested me for it said “the labs say no but I’m telling you one day it will say yes” well doc, the labs are still saying no 10 years later… if you would have just ran some other tests maybe I wouldn’t have lost 6 babies maybe only 1 or 2! I would probably still have my fallopian tubes! and I probably wouldn’t have had to go through the suffering of knowing I had a baby that had a heart beat or the pain of the tube rupturing on each tube. I could have maybe had a child on my own¬† years ago of course I will never know that for sure. then that leaves me with the other feeling of even my genes are against me being a mother?¬† I just want to scream from the anger and sadness from it all. I’m still grateful honestly that this one still has a chance but it’s like I’m feeling the injustice for the other babies.¬† and maybe that’s too harsh of a statement I don’t know I’m overwhelmed with emotions right now.

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Blah….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I swear my body is telling me it is going to rain today yet the forecast¬†is saying that it wont till tomorrow. I am hurting so bad from my head to my toes, and so stiff for hours after I¬†wake up.¬† I knew to expect this though but I¬†guess you are never really ever ready for a crap load of pain that never ends. ūüė¶ Not to mention the fibro fog!! I swear I feel like I¬†am losing my mind. I keep walking into a room and I’m¬†like what did I¬†come into this room for? oh¬†or how I¬† put the paper in the¬†refrigerator¬†instead of the trash can and I¬†put the milk in the pantry LOL. I am so done with this pain!! My husband and father-in-law keep telling me how strong I¬†am and that I can stop the IVF if I need to but I just can’t. I can’t just give up what is a year’s worth of bad pain to years of smiles and hugs and giggles. I stay focused on the possible outcome, that’s the only way I¬†can survive right now. A Lot of people close to me I¬†think just don’t understand it but I¬†know their heart is in the right place though. I have my doctors with me they are updated at all times and I even went out and found a therapist to help me survive this year, without my pills and with the pain its hard to not get depressed. She is really nice and is up to date on the situation and feels like she can help me through this year. Hope everyone else is having a great day though!

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Oh my goodness how time has flown by! I was just looking over our IVF calendar and I just can’t believe it. I have 2 more days till I start the menopur and follistim injections, 9 days till Jason and¬†I start taking the Z-pack, then only 10 to 15 days depending on how my body reacts to meds of course till the retrieval! I just can not believe it I’m so excited and scared at the same time LOL. Jason is taking off from work starting the 16th through the¬†24th to be on the safe side since it’s a 2 1/2 hour drive to the IVF clinic.¬† we are debating renting a hotel room for a few days I think we will decide that a little closer to the time.¬† Oh all my labs came back normal from my new OB-GYN he ran a bunch of tests to find out why we had miscarried 4 times and had 2 ectopics so far I think it was just my tubes. they were so severely scar tissue but now they are gone and hopefully their wont be any more¬†problems.¬† oh man I took¬†a few pictures to show my meds I get overwhelmed at times just looking at them lol although the calendar that Jason made for me really helps to take¬† some of the confusion out of it.

 

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Meds are here!!

Finally I have all the IVF meds paid for and here with me! I’m so happy!!

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